If I Lose I Die; It Is That Simple:

The Abyss

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What if one finds themself standing at the edge, the breaking point of a journey to which they were not inclined to travel to, a place a corner they were backed into through no fault of their own?

An abyss filled with so much pain, fear, worry worry worry will they know when they have reached the edge?

Just doing what people do best; living and enjoying life. In an instant a blink of an eye and you are in it.

A place that does not fit. Where you do not want to be. It has taken over. It has a mind of its own.

Where do we find the power to break the hold? To change the flow? To come out on top; strong enough to turn away from the edge and face the sun?

I was in an auto accident almost 7 years ago that later turned into a personal injury lawsuit. I was the plaintiff and was in no way at fault in that accident. I was the only one injured in the accident. These injuries were such that they led to further problems and so on an so on.

I am the victim of a bad faith insurance company. I do not know if many are aware of this term and the implications. I would love to use another word in place of victim. My mind embraces that term for now.

Somehow the lawyer for the insurance company found out I am gay. He also found out my two major witnesses are also gay and school teachers. In the discovery phase of a lawsuit all medical records, financial records, everything they want about you the plantiff must hand over.

This was the scenario in mediation. The lawyer assumed responsibility for one minor injury I sustained and proclaimed they would not assume responsibility for the other injuries (all actual injuries documented by exrays, MRIs, nerve conduction tests, etc) and says in mediation:

"We assume XXXX as our responsiblity to pay you for but the rest of your injuries are a result of your other issues as we discussed in the deposition such as you are gay, your son has special needs along with other problems, your mother died of breast cancer, your parents are alcoholics, etc. If you take this to court we will of course be forced to reveal what we found out in the discovery phase and you will lose and be liable for up to $20,000 in court costs."

I accepted 1/10 of what the injuries and the policy supported. Why? I had to protect my two friends who could have lost their jobs here in my state should it have gone to court and the lawyer had made good on his threats.

I have never told a soul about this (except for a counselor) until this very minute. It has been tearing me up inside. I never even told my friends (my witnesses) about it.

Did I make the right decision? This has been a huge financial and emotional burden on me and my family. I cannot even go into it.

When I talked with my counselor she called me a hero for protecting my friends. I feel nothing but guilt now. Because of the repercussions and what affect it has had on my kids.

They say the best revenge is to do well. How does one do well when your enemy took away every tool possible to get well and do right by the family and self.

This is a ramble and I will most likely delete it soon. But my throat closes up with shame and torment. And the tears. And the anger. I struggle with this daily.

My situation is precarious and I am standing at the abyss.
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Re: The Abyss

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Kats, I can only imagine the anguish and pain you have been through.
I am not a lawyer, but I would say what the layer had stated would be brought up in discoveries would be irrelevant and dismissed. Was this your lawyer from your insurance company or from the defendants? It appears to me that what he did bring up was a little unprofessional.
Having said that I only know you as with others as text on a computer screen, however there is a real person behind that text and you come accross to me as a strong willed lady that has and will overcome adversity

You can and will do it, you have friends who can support you, and you have cyber friends here on WC who will support you.
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I hope you have the courage to ignore the blackmail this lawyer has tried to use on you and fight your case. I think his threats are dispicable. I don't believe the law society would uphold such behaviour
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Re: The Abyss

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Kats, I am not a lawyer and don't know much about the legal system. But I do know that Insurance companies are notorious for looking after their own interests.
ie. making sure they pay as little as possible. Shouldn't you have had your own lawyer looking after your interests? Often all parties will drag the process on as long as possible in order to cause even more anguish to the victim. (And avoid going to court).
It is horrible that you and your family have had to suffer as a result of this.
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Re: The Abyss

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Hi Kat,

I hate to hear of your situation. That was a horrible thing to have done to you. I also agree with Mag, that you should have had your own legal representation, if you did not at the time of settlement, you might re-visit this issue. There may still be a possiblility of re-opening this case based on the information you gave depending on how long it has been since the settlement occured and the laws of your state.

Many attorneys offer free initial consultation. Just be very wary of those who offer to work for free and for a portion of your settlement. You could become liable for lots of attorney fees. In this case, all they have to do is get an additional judgement for 1 cent and now you are on the hook for their fees, which can run into the thousands of dollars. So read carefully anything they ask you to sign.

(Disclamier, I am not an attorney and this is not legal advice)

I hope that whatever you decide, that things get better for you and that you are feeling better soon!

Regards,
C
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Re: The Abyss

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Hi Kat,

I am not a lawyer, but I am a paralegal at one of the biggest law firms in the world. There are many, many orginizations that provide legal advice gratis...or pro bono...I myself have worked on a number of these cases. There are organizations that help connect people in need of assitance with attorneys willing to provide assistance, it depends where you are located, if you are interested I might be able to hook you up with someone in your area.

Regarding what you were talking about, "the Abyss", my only advice is to find some way to let it go...stop tormenting yourself about this, but that is easier said then done...for myself, I find that to move on...I have to give myself permission to move on...does that make any sense? For you to have any closure, it might help to reopen the case (it certainly sounds as though you were discriminated against) or it might help to put it behind you in some other way.